What now?

This whole dog drama has left me confused.  I feel a bit like Joseph K in The Trial.

     Are the dogs roaming or is it my imagination? 

     Is council turning a blind eye to the problem or is it working tirelessly and diligently, behind the scenes and through the night, to reduce numbers of at-large dogs and support owners to be responsible. 

     Why is this happening to me?

     I just don’t know.  Maybe my grip on reality is slipping.  I feel I have lost my way and can no longer see.  I need help.

     On the weekend, I sent my father a link to my blog, to give him an idea of what I have been up to and perhaps he could shed some light on the impasse I have with the local authority.

     I rarely ask Dad for advice unless there is likely to be a simple, concrete and preferably scientific solution.  If that’s the case, he always has awesome advice.

     You see Dad’s a chemist as in chemicals and he lives and breathes science. To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction which I recall from high school physics as Newton’s second or third law of motion or was it thermodynamics.  I was not a fan of physics.  I got enough of it at home, thanks Dad.

     I wasn't hopeful of advice from Dad about dogs because there is clearly no easy solution, since enforcing local laws is off the menu. Dad's 73 and is still consulting, including abroad.  But, if there aren't laboratory practices that need tweaking or some trace element that needs extracting, Dad's likely to have no clue.

     However, I was taken aback with Dad's response.  Here it is:

Cath. this is my dog story - illustrating that what you see is not necessarily what is happening.

There was a blind man with his seeing eye dog standing at the pedestrian crossing.  All of a sudden the dog led the man across the crossing even though it was showing “Do Not Walk”.  There was a real commotion with cars beeping their horns and drivers screaming abuse as the two crossed against the light.

Luckily they got across safely. 

To the surprise of the onlookers the blind man drew a dog biscuit from his pocket and bent down offering it to his dog.

A nearby bystander shouted “How in the hell can you give him a biscuit after what he did to you?”

The blind man replied that he is offering the biscuit to find out where the dog’s head is so he can give him a good kick up his arse!

     Of course.  That’s the answer.  I just needed to go to the council, find its head and then administer a swift and forceful kick up the opposite end.  Then council could go about its business and apply animal management local laws.

     So, off I went to the council, with a couple of Scotch Fingers and I set about trying to locate council’s head. 

     I tried and tried, but all I could find were two arses.

     Now I am more confused than ever.