I just read on The
Drum that earlier this week, Kitty Flanagan, a guest on The
Project (had to Google that one) disclosed to viewers Santa ‘doesn’t even
exist.’ Parents took to Twitter and Facebook to condemn the program for spoiling their children’s
Christmas joy. There was even an article
in The Age titled ‘How The Project
ruined Christmas for many families.’
Here are some tweets. Naturally, the critical Facebook posts have been removed from The Project's profile.
@theprojecttv you're a disgrace. Now I can't watch
my fav news program without fear of what might be said while my kids are in the
room!
@theprojecttv have only just got my kids to
sleep.Tears,heartbreak & questions re Santa tonight.Appalled and very angry
- can't fix this one
Here’s how The Project repaired the damage on Facebook.
Dear Mums and Dads,
Last night’s comments by Kitty were completely unplanned and we unreservedly
apologise for upsetting our family viewers.
Last night was Kitty’s final performance for the year on The Project but
neither she nor our show would intentionally offend kids like this just before
Christmas.
Tonight we will be crossing to Santa in the North Pole so he can clear up any
confusion for our younger viewers.
Best regards,
The Project
First I wondered why children would be watching such a
program and secondly, why parents don’t complain as fiercely about coarse
language, moderate violence and sexual references endemic in PG films and
programs, for example Home and Away.
Finally, I decided those parents were stupid
if they couldn’t calm their distressed child by simply saying, ‘Honey, that
women gets paid to tell jokes. Don’t
listen to her twaddle.’
Then I remembered I had already spoiled this Christmas for a
class of eleven year-olds. And like The
Project, I was quick to make amends the following day.
Not long ago I was teaching two-digit multiplication and not
sure what students knew and could do, I went back to the beginning. They all understood the first step,
multiplying the one (place value) in a two-digit sum, for example, 26 x 15, they
successfully multiplied 26 by 5.
‘What do I do now?’
‘Add the magic zero,’ most of them said.
‘The what?’ I've long believed the magic zero in maths is worse than the Santa conspiracy.
‘The magic zero!’ Students jumped from their seats. ‘The magic zero!’
Of course, I asked about this magic zero and they stared at
me.
Eventually, one studious girl
gathered enough courage to say, ‘you put the magic zero in the ones column.’
‘But why?’ I asked and was met with blank faces, even that
of the studious girl.
I explained the next step is multiplying by a number with a
place value of 10 and the multiple indeed
has this fabulous, but not-so-magic 0 on the end of it. I got them to answer sums I scribbled on the white board.
‘See, there’s nothing magic going on,’ I said.
‘But we’ve been taught it’s a magic zero.’
‘Ah, I said. It’s a
bit like,’ and I paused, calculating the average age of the students, 11 and
certain no one at 11 could possibly believe in Santa I continued. ‘It’s a bit like Santa. He’s magic when you’re young, but when you
grow up you learn Santa is not real. The
magic zero seems amazing and magic until you work out multiplying a whole
number by 10 means the last digit must be a zero. It’s simple.’
It was simple. No one accused me of heresy and most students
successfully completed a series of two-digit algorithms.
It was one of my most successful maths lessons. It really was simple until ….
Until … the next day in the same class I received a phone
call from the deputy principal, DP.
‘I’ve just had a call from an angry parent claiming you told
her daughter yesterday Santa wasn’t real.’
‘Yes, of course and I told the class the magic zero wasn’t real.’ I explained what had happened.
The DP, who I think is wonderful and understood my predicament (she also condemned the magic zero), related the parent’s concern. The daughter had come home in tears because Mrs Titasey said Santa wasn’t real
(the not-so-magic zero disclosure wasn’t a problem, thankfully).
‘A parent needs to break the news about Santa,’ said the DP.
Of course, I had to reverse the damage. I found the child, outlined my comments were
not true and Santa was is, in fact, very real and apologised profusely.
The poor love, bit on her lower lip and gazed at me with
saucer shaped eyes. Eventually she
nodded with relief and ran out to little lunch.
I was stressed. I had probably caused serious psychological damage
to the rest of the class for years to come.
I’d had my first parent complaint. My teaching career was over thanks to a
fictitious fat man in a red and white suit who lives in the North Pole! Outside I found a teacher I had relieved for
and confessed my crime.
‘Have I really screwed up?’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ she laughed. ‘Mind, you, you won’t get more teaching work
here.’ She saw my panic. ‘I’m only joking. Seriously don’t worry about
it.’ She doubled over laughing. ‘It’s
just that it’s so funny.’
In the staffroom, the DP and principal had a great giggle
about what I’d be getting from Santa at Christmas and for a few days, I was the
butt of very funny Santa jokes.
In eighteen months of teaching, I can honestly say that the
one thing I taught that was absorbed and demonstrated accurately was my
disclosure about Santa. Nothing else has
been so readily understood.
So why don’t kids lap up all the good stuff they hear in
class or see on screens?
Buggered if I know, but I have been on tenterhooks every
time I’ve entered a classroom. Correcting the spoiler won't always work so well and I don’t have the resources to
arrange a video link with Santa in the North Pole like The Project. Who cares,
really? I need to find a job working with adults.
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