My spotted soul mate, my husband and my self-control

Tony and I didn't write our marriage vows mainly because we decided rather suddenly to tie the knot.  Also, the vow-writing process seemed a bit cringe-worthy to me.  But to be honest, I’d worked as a family law solicitor and knew there was a 40% chance we’d divorce. I wasn’t going to waste time crafting a declaration of love for a man I was likely to end up disliking.

Just married ... 'till death do us part.'

     So we had the traditional, ‘till death do us part’ spiel as part of a registry wedding (wasn't wasting money on a flash wedding, either).  But most of the clerk's voice was drowned out, first by Tony’s giggling and then the laughter of the seven guests crammed into the small office.  I was so embarrassed and was tempted to take hold of the glass paperweight on the clerk’s desk and smash it over Tony’s head. But I exercised the self-control of a saint.
     While photos were taken outside the courthouse, it occurred to me our marriage was founded on the notion that it would survive till one of us died a natural death … or killed the other.  And that almost happened at the end of 2010.

I miss my girl.

     I had travelled from TI to Cairns with the Rooster for his boarding school orientation.  I never liked leaving TI because it meant being separated from my spotted soul mate.  Yes, my beautiful Dalmation, Saidor, named after a village in Papua New Guinea.  

     Saidor and I were inseparable.  She slept on the floor beside my bed.  I always I lay on my stomach and let my arm hang down so I could rest my hand on her fur.  She sprawled on the kitchen lino when I cooked and she lay beside my chair when I worked at the computer.  She was at my side when I did yoga. When I was in labour with the last two children, Saidor was outside the maternity ward.  

       When I returned from my week in Cairns, I noticed Saidor was outside on the veranda instead of inside where she belonged.  I had my suspicions.  When it was time to sleep, I placed Saidor's mattress next to my bed as I did every night and called her inside.

     ‘The dog stays outside,’ growled Tony.

     Now, there were two problems with that statement.  The first was Saidor, as a member of our family, belonged inside.  The second, he’d referred to her as ‘the dog’ which was a fatal mistake.  I resisted the urge to fly at him in a rage. 

     ‘Saidor sleeps next to me.’ My voice was calm.

     ‘She’s staying outside.  I’m sick of her being inside.’

     ‘You don’t understand.  Saidor and I sleep beside each other. We always have and we always will.’

     ‘If you want to sleep with her, you can sleep outside on the veranda.’

     ‘Okay,’ I said.  I took Saidor’s mattress out to the veranda and fetched the swag for me.

     Oh, how glorious it was laying, curled around my furry friend and gazing at the sequinned sky.  We dozed as the flying foxes fought over ripe paw paws, green tree frogs croaked in the downpipes and the banana leaves brushed against each other in secret whispers.  When the spray of rain blew in, I pulled the waterproof flap of the swag over me and covered Saidor with a sheet. We slept like newborns.
     At dawn, we were woken by the crowing of roosters as the sky turned pink. 

     This went on for three weeks.  Each night, I unrolled the swag and placed Saidor’s mattress down.  In the morning, I rolled up the swag and put it in the office.  It then occurred to me that our marriage was actually founded on the notion of ‘till a slow and painful emotional death do us part.’  Really, I didn’t care.  I had my soul mate.

     On the twenty-first night, I unrolled my swag on the veranda then Tony opened the screen door.

     ‘You can come inside now,’ he said in a quiet voice.

     ‘Okay,’ I said.

     I rolled up the swag and put it in the office. Then I went back to the veranda and picked up Saidor’s mattress.

     ‘Come on, Darling’ I said to her, holding the door open.

     She followed me to my side of the bed where I placed her mattress.  She curled upon it and I got into bed, draped my arm over the side and rubbed her neck.  We slept like newborns.  

     And Tony and I were back on track till ‘natural death do us part.’