A duck is watching ...

Anatidaephobia is defined as the fear of being watched by a duck.  When Nicola emailed me about this anxiety, I was immediately sceptical.

     Anatidae is the family of birds to which ducks belong.  Duck is the common name for the species and the word ‘duck’ is derived from an old English word, ducan, meaning to dive or duck down.  And we all know ‘phobia’ is from the Greek word for ‘fear’.

     So anatidaephobia would actually mean to fear ducks. 

     How could one fear the wisest and gentlest of God’s creatures?

     A quick Google search confirmed what I suspected.  Anatidaephobia is a fictional fear created in the 1980s by Gary Larsen who trained as a biologist.  At the farm, I found Larsen’s, The PreHistory of the Far Side on the bedside table in the spare room.  It has the inscription, Happy Father’s Day, 1992, Your daughter.

     I flicked through and located some duck cartoons.

 

     Note the protagonist's weapon.  All in the name of a few harmless laughs, yes?  Of course, no one could actually fear a duck or her loving and tolerant gaze.  Or could they? 

     Each morning, I wake at 5.55 am, without fail, as Pepper Zen makes her first nasal, ‘haaawnk.’  At first I embraced rising early and, while sipping my tea, watched with great pride as Pepper ducked and dived in the pool. 

     Then, at a loss as what to do with the three-quarter hour between finishing my tea and heading inside to wake the kids for school, I started bringing out my yoga mat and getting in a bit of bend and stretch.  I kept getting interrupted by Pepper. The worst was when I was performing the final and most important relaxation pose, savasana or the corpse pose when the yogi is meant to relax and empty their mind.

     However, these early mornings have taken their toll on me physically and emotionally.  Lately, when the Pepper Alarm sounds I rush to shut her up lest the neighbourhood sign a petition against us living there.  I have been grabbing my sheet, pillow and yoga mat and on the way to the pool, grabbing Pepper (and uttering the odd expletive).  The routine is I deposit her in the pool, I lay out my yoga mat by the pool, wrap myself in the sheet to repel mosquitoes and sleep for an hour.

     My early morning pool-side naps unsettled me from the start.  My sleep was broken and I woke more exhausted than had I stayed awake.  And I did, indeed, experience the sensation of being watched.  I took out my phone to capture on screen any poltergeists or paranormal activity. When I felt uneasy, I discreetly reached for my phone already in camera mode and I snapped proof of anatidaephobia.

     Give me earth-bound spirits and negative chi, but do something about the staring duck!